Saturday, December 31, 2016

Reflecting 2016

as I sat down thinking of the year ahead, it is wise to take some time reflecting my 2016, I think. it is indeed a very tough year for me. or maybe for all of us. however, it wasn't entirely sad, I still have some fun too. I traveled and visited a few countries. 


my late father was diagnosed with amyloidosis back in September 2014. we quickly made our research about the disease. yes, every article told us that there is no cure for amyloid. but you know, I always trust in the power of du'a. i kept telling myself that he will overcome this time. he solved most of my problems! definitely, he can think of something about his condition. 

ever since I know about his disease, I always try to keep him close to me. I took his pictures. a lot. and from all the photos taken, I can see that his condition deteriorated. I am super sad  told myself to be ready. if ever anything bad happens to him, I must be ready. and I think I can handle this. the lie that I told myself, until the day he breathed his last one 💔

but when I look back, I know he fought well. he was in pain. he kept telling me that he would die because of that disease. sad ! I miss you abah. However, i was a bit relieved when I know he is in a better place now. In shaa Allah


@molecuscoffee  ☕️ is the baby business of my brother and I. it is just not a coffee shop. it carries our soul. the sacrifices behind the cafe are beyond expectations. after his graduation, he went back to London for this coffee certificate in London School of Coffee. he was all alone. leaving behind his pregnant wife and his beloved father. 

staying in York made he traveled by bus on regular basis. but it wasn't the same routine on the April 9. he just reached home when I called him, telling him that abah won't make it. it was probably the hardest thing for a sister to tell. 

he came home 24hours after. but only to see his grave. never had the chance to say sorry. to say he loves him. never get the chance to bathe the man he loves the most. nothing ! I know there is no greater pain than this.  

If only abah is still here, he must be the happiest person sitting at our cafe today 😊 that is why our cafe carries our heart too. 


Yes, as I mentioned earlier my 2016 wasn't all about sadness and sorrow. I do have happy moments too. I love to travel. I get to learn the culture, the weather, the people, and the food. Witnessing the beauty of God's creation, Masya Allah it's a blessing ! ❤️ Singapore, London, Rome, Istanbul, Indonesia and Thailand are the countries visited this year. Johor, Penang, Melaka, and Kelantan are the states that have special place in my heart. They are unique on their own. I really love the diversity of Malaysia.

thank you for the many great things in 2016 ☺️


Friday, December 16, 2016

go travel

Travel is expensive (at least for me it is expensive). It requires a certain portion of your earnings in order for you to travel. But don't be stingy towards yourself.

Once a wise man told me, go travel. you'll have the experience that money can't buy. Of course, you cannot have that valuable knowledge for free.  So spend wisely!

Ever since he told me that, I plan for my own travel wish list. There is a certain place that I really want to go. For an instance, I have been looking to visit Alexandria in Egypt. This city has such an extraordinary history. Exciting one!

However, the visit to Alexandria remains a wish list until now. -Sad but I'll work on that some other day.

I hope ❌⭕️❌⭕️

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore - Andre Gide

Photos were taken in Rome earlier this year.

the building, the weather, the music, and the smell of the hot coffee. i still have them in my mind.
as a traveler or a tourist, i always love to walk around the alleys and the streets. just to experience the locals. they are all beautiful people.

| Notes to Travel |

  • choose a country or a place that you have never visited.
  • do some research why you want to visit the place
  • list out what do you wish to see / visit/learn from the trip
  • enjoy your trip. don't rush.
  • never forget your camera 📸
  • do not go for fancy hotels, you just want to sleep
  • consider to go with a bunch of crazy friends - sharing expenses is the best way not to make you go broke 🤗


Sunday, April 24, 2016

April 24

i usually feel very excited in April. especially on the 24th of the month. 

but everything is very different this year. i won't be able to send you messages. i won't be able to call you and talk to you. i won't have the chance to video call you and let Sofea sings you a birthday song. 

you would have turned 58 today, abah. sometimes i think you were gone too soon. there are still many things that i want to tell you. there are so so many of other things. but Allah loves you more than we do. so He takes you with him. and i'm sure you are a lot better there :) 

i feel your presence still. and i feel like you are still here with us. i still have your photos. and i look at them whenever i am free. and i saw a man that i love so much. who sacrificed a lot, who did a lot.

you know, i just miss you a little more today :') 


Monday, April 18, 2016

i'm back & i'm okay

i'm back.

and for those who asked, thanks a lot. even i don't reply to some of you but i read all of your messages.

i feel better knowing that my father is now in a better place. and his pain is gone. everyone feels very empty since he left as he used to be every where with us. his calls and messages are the one i truly missed.

he was my best friend. the closest one and the coolest one too. we shared a lot of stories and problems. we exchanged ideas and advices. he jokes a lot with his kids ( now semua pn dah tua ) but he was still charming until his last breath.

thank you Allah for sending us such a beautiful soul to us. he was simply amazing and the best.

" 9 April 2016, perginya seorang kekasih, dalam seribu tidak ketemu, dalam sejuta hanya satu " - Fahmi Khalid


Monday, April 11, 2016

rest well, abah !

there is no cure for amyloidosis. 
it can be deadly dangerous when it attacks your kidney or liver. without treatment, many patients lost their battle of amyloidosis within two years of diagnosis.

it is indeed a very very rare disease. 
and i lost my beloved father to this. he fought very bravely until the end. my heart aches seeing his condition deteriorated. everytime. 

and now he is in a better place. rest well my hero !

al fatihah  & i love you