Sunday, April 9, 2017

setahun merindu

it has been a while. 
i had difficulties in writing. even if i have a lot to say.

but now i am in control of my life ( a bit ) 
trying to put in some activities between the days. manage to slot in for family time. 

now it is April again. and semua perasaan pahit tu kembali. it just hit me like a storm. this moment, one year ago, i lost the man that i love the most. my world became so dark. my heart sank to the lowest ground. and yes it hurts. still. i miss him too dearly. and no one can understand that. Sofea feels that way too. she lost the best grandfather at only 3yo. the void that can never be filled. 

alfatihah buat ayahanda tercinta. kita jumpa di syurga. amin

there is so much that i wanted to tell you. there is so many things i had in my life. you know you are the only person that i always ran to whenever i have something. be it problems or happy things. you are the one that i wanted to tell first. 

the love from your voice is can never be replaced. it is so soothing to my ears. it calms me in so many ways. it makes me warm, even until now. but what hurts the most is i can only live in the memories we shared. we cannot create a new one.

because you are no longer here. because our time is now different. because our world  now  is different. if only i can hold you tight once again 😭 i miss you & i love you always. 

thank you for everything you made. thank you for all the love you showered us. thank you for being the best dad i can ever asked for. thank you for showing me that real gentleman do exists ! i am so proud of you. 

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